Day 3/Lugano and Cuomo

The time differences between countries throughout the world has always fascinated me. Our group of twelve left Iowa at 11:30 AM On Thursday October 11, traveled across the Atlantic Ocean and now at 11:00 PM Friday, Luann and I were getting ready to enjoy our first night's sleep in Northern Italy. I like hotels and I have a routine before bed that I normally follow. I have to make sure I know how to run the TV and will turn it on and watch it for a while before I fall asleep. Even though we had been awake all those hours, I did not vary from my routine. As Luann read a little, I turned the television on and tried to watch it. Every channel, all fifteen of them, were in Italian. I tried to understand as much as I could, but it was futile. I also had another problem. The remote control for the set was so worn that I couldn't see where the volume and channel controls were. I had to keep getting up to adjust the controls manually. To make matters worse, the TV was nothing like I had ever seen. The power light would remain on when I shut it off, which made me fear that the TV could suddenly turn on at any time during the night. That would be a terrible thing for Luann as she is a light sleeper. Without my hearing aids in, I would sleep through it. I finally got the TV under control after a wasted half hour and I was ready for sleep. Luann was still reading when my head hit the pillow and I fell into a deep sleep.

I always like to think of myself as being real tough and things like jet lag don't bother me. I am now in a very deep sleep and I am having a dream related to my last business venture, when I suddenly wake up. It takes me a few seconds to realize that I am not in my own bed, but I can't figure out where I am. The room is black, not dark, but black. I can't see anything. I now remember that I am on vacation in Italy and this is my hotel room. I see the outline of the patio doors, which I now remember has a huge window blind made of thick plastic or soft rubber over the panes of glass. The draw strings were not string, but resembled the rubber straps that are used by flat bed semis to keep the tarps in place. Putting the blinds down was similar to a lat pull exercise I do on my Bow Flex machine. These blinds were amazing. There was absolutely no light coming into this room, let alone any noise. It was spooky. I looked around the room and could see nothing. I was now wishing I had left the power light on on the TV so I could see something. I new Luann was somewhere nearby, but I was afraid to put my hand across the bed. To make matters worse, I was wide awake and not sleepy anymore. I had no idea what time it was. We didn't have a clock in the room. I have never been in a situation in my life where I had absolutely no conception of time. Now it was time for the mind game.

As I laid there in bed, in a panic, I tried to figure out what time it was. I knew that I had slept soundly, so that meant I must have gotten at least six hours of sleep. It must be 5:00 AM. and could possibly be later. Then I would consider the fact that maybe I only took a one hour deep nap and the time was midnight or 1:00 AM. That thought really frightened me because we were going on tour at 8:30 AM and I would have a heck of time laying here for seven hours. I was delirious. Maybe I was still dreaming and asleep. No such luck. I lay there, fighting my imagination on what tomorrow would be like if I really had not slept. I frantically searched for some semblance of time in that room. I finally got the nerve to get out of bed. I had been afraid to get up earlier, for fear of waking Luann, but I was now desperate. I pulled back the blinds and took a peak. Nothing but darkness. We were surrounded by buildings and we were on the second floor, so if the sun was coming out, I wouldn't be able to see it any way. I looked at the street below me. Nothing, not a soul. It was Saturday morning, hopefully, and maybe people weren't out yet. I looked for a clock on the Church. Nothing. I closed the blinds and had to stay still until my eyes adjusted to the black room behind me. I sat on the bed and thought. Bathroom. I will work my way to the bathroom and maybe I will see something on Luann's night table that would help me. I had to move my hands along the bed as I walked towards the bathroom because I knew the desk/table combination nearby and I hated the thought of crashing into something. That would normally elicit a vulgar outcry and Luann doesn't like it when I use that kind of language, even though it does ease the pain. I made it past the closet, nothing on her night stand. Boy, this was really a nightmare. I made it this far, I may as well go to the bathroom and at least turn on the light. I closed the bathroom door, switched on the light, looked at the bidet on the floor and wondered if it was possible that this was a urinal. I looked at my face in the mirror and shuddered and to make matters worse, I didn't have to go. That meant, it must be earlier, not later. I must not have slept much. I left the bathroom depressed, shut the light off and worked my way back along the passageway back to my side of the bed. I still had not seen Luann in the darkness. I lay there for what seemed hours falling in and out of sleep until finally, I heard Luann get up. That was my signal that it was day time and we could get up now. I still could not see any light because of the blinds. It all seemed like a dream and I had slept some, though I had no idea how much or how little.

One of the advantages of tour groups is that many of your meals are included. This was no exception. Breakfast started at 7:00 AM and we were to board the bus for our first tour at 8:30. Luann and I showered and headed for the dining room. I still did not know what time it was. I mentioned this to Luann and she informed that she could look on her cell phone. Why didn't I think of that the night before? To make it even worse, she told me that she was awake the whole time I was fumbling around last night. I felt like a fool thinking about it. We had to use a quick mathematical calculation to arrive at the time. It was almost 8:00 AM. We had to take the time on the cell phone and add six hours to it. If we wanted to know what time it was back home, we had to subtract seven hours because the phone was on Eastern time. Luann and I don't wear watches so we rely on our cell phones for the time. She was trialing a new Blackberry for the company she works for and it had all the latest bells and whistles on it. I didn't tell her that I wasn't impressed that this latest technology tool couldn't give us the correct time. I couldn't afford to have her mad at me this early on the trip.

We were the last ones in the dining room and the waiter sat us at at a table with another couple. I wanted to sit somewhere else, but apparently it wasn't allowed. We sat with a couple from Michigan, Mary Jo and Fred. They were very nice people and I will admit, if it wasn't for Luann I would be clue less about how nice people are because half of the time I miss what they are saying about themselves. This was another one of those case. Mary Jo had to be one of the softest speaking people I have ever heard. Fred wasn't very loud either, but he didn't talk much. Mary Jo would say something and I would look over to Luann for my cue on whether I was supposed to reply or something. I played with my hearing aids, but I could hardly make out what she was saying. To complicate it, she had a mouth that barely moved and when it moved, it seemed like it wasn't in sync with the words. I thought I was watching one of those American movies, dubbed in Italian. I knew this breakfast conversation would be replayed for me on the bus so I quickly got up and headed for the food. Luann was lagging a little behind me as she was still being cordial with the Michigan couple.

Italian breakfast is a lot different than ours. They have the normal cereal and juices, but their breakfasts are loaded with bread, all you can eat. There are no scrambled or fried eggs, they have hard boiled eggs. There is a good variety of pastries and cakes, but there is no bacon. They have a cold cut meat tray with ham, other meats and cheese. The coffee at this location is served to us in small cups, not the big cups we are used to. It was healthy, no grease or fat. The bread had no preservatives, which made it light. I had more bread at this breakfast than I have back home in a month. We sat there enjoying our breakfast. I had a cheese sandwich, with a hard boiled egg, bread and butter rolls and coffee. Luann had the pastry, with ham and bread and coffee. As Mary Jo and Fred headed for the bus, Luann and I quickly ate the rest of our breakfast and went to join the others.

We climbed on board the bus, exchanged greetings with our fellow travelers and proceeded to climb into our seats. Luann took the aisle and I got the window. Pat and Sharon were across from us and had the premiere seats. Their seats were the first seats, on the left, as you enter the bus from the rear door, which is located in the middle of the bus. They had a rail that they could rest their arms on and the seats were deeper, which gave them more leg room. These seats will prove to be a point of controversy later in the trip. For now, we all sat and eagerly awaited for our rep to make her good morning speech and tell us what we were going to do today. It was the old people's pre-school field trip. All forty three fifty plus year olds listened while Melissa, I had just now learned her name, told us the rules. Rule #1: No food or drinks on the bus because it would not be fair to those on the bus that didn't have anything. Rule #2: Need to be on the bus when told because Collette Vacations had a tight time line with guides, schedules, etc. Rule #3. Today's trip was going to take three hours along the lake and into the mountains on our way to Switzerland. The view, she said, would be spectacular. However, once we got out of Stresa and started up the mountains, we would not be stopping for any service breaks (polite way of saying, NO BATHROOM STOPS). She even added some salt to the wound by telling us that she hoped we had prepared for this by taking care of those needs. Time for another mind game.

I have a serious mental condition when it comes to having to go to the bathroom. It stems from a childhood incident that happened to me at the age of four. It is a story that has been talked about in my family for decades and it will not be told here. My condition is this; If there is a bathroom available, I won't have to go very bad or very often. Tell me that there is no bathroom or make the bathroom hard to get to and I will have to go quickly and severely. I am now in a bus rumbling through narrow streets, passing by stores, gas stations and houses right and left on my way for a three hour trip with no bathroom break. I know my body. I have just eaten breakfast, drank coffee and juice. There is no way I will make it. Luann is upset with me a little because I have already made the reference that I don't like the little kid rules and don't like the tour rep and I have now started to pout. I am staring out the window imagining how I am going to address the situation when my body tells me it is time. How embarrassed will I be when I have to raise my hand and tell a young lady thirty years younger than me, in front of all these people, that I have to go real bad. What if there is no where to stop? Will I go on a hillside? Will I go knock on some body's door? Can I just get off the bus and head back to Stresa? All these thoughts are going through my head as we pass some of the most beautiful scenery in the world. Mountains on my left, the huge blue lake on my right. We are climbing up the narrow highway, sharing it with motorcycles, small cars, trucks, buses and an occasional bicycle. The day is perfectly clear and sunny and I am busy focusing on the clock at the front of the bus. I know that if I can get half of the three hours out of the way, I have a good chance of making it all the way. It is like the two minute drill in the NFL. I am counting down the time in fifteen minute intervals. The traffic is starting to get bad, as weekend travelers are heading to the resort towns along the lake. I am still pouting, upset that I did not take care of business, did not think of looking at the cell phone last night, could not figure the TV out and a waging whole bunch of self inflicting attacks on myself. Finally, it is half way, according to the clock on the bus, and we are at the Swiss border. As we stop, Melissa makes an announcement. I don't want to hear it. She surprises us by telling us that she needs to get the passport information (we did this last night) to the border patrol and we will be stopping for five minutes, no longer. There are bathrooms here if anyone needs to go. We cannot delay, however, see rule #2. No one moves. I don't have to go, but if someone gets up, I will force myself to go. No one moves. I am now convinced that I am on a bus with people that must take medication that keeps them from having to go. Melissa offers the bathrooms again. No one moves. I mutter something under my breath and Luann gives me the look. When I lost my hearing, she must have found it because she doesn't miss any negative comment I make. Her ears have to be bionic. No one is moving. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch one of the Michigan people getting up. Yes, someone is going to go. All of a sudden, it was like the recess bell had gone off. People were getting up and walking off. Most of them to have a cigarette break, others to look at the beautiful view and a few of us to go the bathroom. Though I didn't have to go, I went any way. A little insurance never hurts. We took ten minutes instead of five and happily boarded the bus without getting into any trouble. Life was good again.

The one thing different about this bus tour is that it is very quiet. There are not many announcements, not a lot of laughter and very little commotion. I start looking at the gorgeous scenery and really marvel at the beauty of this part of the world. The scenery here is probably not that different from the scenery in our country, but the fact the roads are so narrow and it seems like everything is packed so tightly makes it look a lot different. I occupied the rest of the trip to Lugano looking out the window and watching some of the people in the bus dozing off. Sharon would ask me on occasion what a billboard or shop sign meant. It was really fun being in a different country and at least knowing some of the language.

The bus started slowing down as we entered the outskirts of Lugano Switzerland. The traffic was pretty much bumper to bumper as we progressed through small towns. I started seeing some signs that we were in Switzerland, like billboards in Swedish. I felt pretty stupid when I thought there were a lot of first aid stations in this country, when actually they were buildings flying the Swedish flag. I'm glad I didn't mention this to anyone. Melissa came on the PA system and told us a little bit of what were seeing and some of the history. By her own admission, she did not have a lot of experience or knowledge about this tour. We all knew she didn't have a lot of experience with fifty year old plus preschoolers. We wound down the narrow street that turned into the main street in Lugano. I noticed a long, steep flight of steps as we entered the town and filed that away in my memory. I would like to know where those steps lead. The bus moved along pretty quickly, so we were all constantly looking at the sail boats and ships parked along the wharf and at the pretty architecture that made up the city of Lugano. It was yet another gorgeous city, full of bustle. I couldn't wait to get off the bus, walk around and have lunch at an outdoor cafe.

Our driver had to go around the narrow streets of the city to be able to drop us off at the fountain that seemed to be the entrance point to the town. The fountain was located in front of a huge square that was surrounded by shops, restaurants, cobblestone streets and people. Across from the fountain, separated by the main highway, was the wharf with a beautiful mountain back drop and large lake already busy with sail boats and pleasure boats. The day was perfectly clear and warm enough for a short sleeve shirt and shorts. I brought my sweatshirt just in case. I really brought it so I could show off to the ardent Notre Dame fans that I had a Notre Dame hooded sweatshirt that my son Ian had given me for Christmas. Man, was I cool. Prior to getting off the bus, we had to get our instructions. The time was 11:15 AM and we would have to be back and in the bus between 12:30 and 12:45 PM for our 1:00 PM departure to Lake Cuomo. We had a whole hour and a half to savor what the town of Lugano had to offer.

Luann and I got off the bus, trying to figure out what direction to go first. Pat and Sharon quickly joined us and the four of us started making our way to the square, which looked like the most logical place to start sight seeing. Andy, one of the ardent Notre Dame fans I had met last night, approached us to show me his Notre Dame shirt under his coat. He was pretty proud of it, but it didn't compare to my sweatshirt. I proceeded to tell him that I had shirt just like his back at the hotel, except that mine was green not blue. He never mentioned his wardrobe to me the rest of the trip. Andy is a very nice guy.

Pat, Sharon, Luann and I made our way into the square among the hundreds of people shopping, eating and just hanging out. We walked up narrow cobblestone streets looking into shop windows and stopping at an occasional fruit vendor stand. The grapes looked great, along with the rest of the fruit. We saw chocolate shops, bakeries, small bars, banks, jewelry stores and anything else you could imagine. It was late Saturday morning and the activity on these streets was probably not much different than back home. It was the architecture and the infrastructure that made this so much different. We followed one of the wider streets towards the part of the town we had come in from on the bus. The ladies had to use the restrooms, so we walked into a downtown store, which resembled a mall. I think Melissa had mentioned this to us on the bus as the place having the cleanest bathrooms. The one thing about Europe is that they really don't want people to use bathrooms. I arrive at this conclusion because they are all hidden. This store must have had five or six floors on it. The bathrooms are all the way on the top floor, in the back. Once we found them, we had to wait in line. Fortunately, it was not an issue for us but I couldn't help but think of the stress it would have caused, if I would have had to really go. This mall was big enough to support two or three bathrooms, not just one. We ran into Kenny and Shirley here, as they were needing the restrooms as well. While I waited for Luann, I walked over to the cafeteria on the same floor and saw that they sold horse meat sandwiches here. I offered to buy Kenny and Pat a sandwich, but they declined. The menu was in Italian and I knew the word for horse and they didn't. Years ago, I went on vacation with a good friend of mine and we teamed up with a couple of guys from Ohio, their names were Butch and Ollie. We were on the island of Guadeloupe in the West Indies at an outdoor beach bar and they sold horse meat burgers. The French, Italian and Spanish word for horse is very similar, but these guys didn't know any foreign language. All three of us ordered burgers and a beer at this place. When the waiter asked us in French if we wanted horse meat, they all looked at me. They must have thought I was a linguist extrodinare so I translated it for them. I told them the waiter wanted to know if they wanted everything on their burgers. The three of them quickly said yes. I declined. I don't know how they missed the condiments on the table. It took awhile, but lunch arrived and the three of us started eating. I could not quit laughing and they couldn't quit eating. It went like this until I finally asked them how their meal was. I had to tell them. Ollie turned a little green, chugged his beer and stopped. My buddy Dave and new friend Butch stopped, thought about it and finished the meal. I was sure I was going to catch them grazing on the straw thatch on top of the outdoor bar. We laughed about that the rest of the day, laying there in the sun. I couldn't pull it off with Kenny and Pat. I must have matured some since those days.

The four of us parted company with Kenny and Shirley and continued our walk. We started talking about lunch and eating somewhere when I noticed that we were close to the steep steps I had seen coming in. As we approched them, we saw they were very steep and led to a small building at the top. It had some historic significance and Luann said she wanted to walk up the steps. Pat walks back and forth to work every day (at least five mile round trip), Luann and I walk every day. I did not know about Sharon. She was a trooper and said she would walk, but would not go very fast since she has bad knees. The four of us walked up the steps and were rewarded with a gorgeous view of the city, the mountains and the lake and harbor. We could see for miles. I do not remember the historic significance to the building or the steps, but the walk was fruitful. We did not need to walk back down the steps because there was a city street that ran parallel to them. We walked down the residential street wondering what kind of rent payment or mortgage went with the property having this kind of view up here. The street took us back to the square. A quick look at Pat's watch showed us that we had enough time to grab a bite and then meet back at the bus. It was a little after noon. Time for a beer.

We settled on a busy outdoor restaurant at the far corner of the square. The restaurant was getting busier as we sat down and we waited for the waiter. We soon had menus in front of us and noticed that pizza was their specialty. Pat and I ordered a dark beer, which I was never able to find the rest of the trip, Luann a marguerita and Sharon a white wine, dry. Pat noticed that the pizzas were pretty big, so we decided that we would split a couple of them, which is customery back home. The waiter returned with our drinks and to take our order. To be safe, I asked him how big the pizzas were and he made a small circle with his two hands to indicate a serving much smaller than what we had seen as the actual size. Luann ordered a Margeurita pizza, which is tomato sauce and cheese. Sharon ordered one as well. The waiter asked me what I would like and I told him I would share Luann's pizza. He told me that the pizzas were not big enough to share and that I needed to have my own. I started getting a little annoyed with him and told him that I wasn't going to eat anything. He asked Pat and Pat responded the same way I did. He was going to share Sharon's pizza. The waiter was getting upset now and came over to Pat and I and took our napkins and forks, muttering under his breath that we weren't going to eat. The two pizzas came out a while later and they were big. They were equal in size to the large pizza back home. The four of us ate the two pizzas and could not understand why they would think that this was not sufficient. I noticed that the table next to us had a table of six people and each one had their own pizza, even the small six year old kids. The time was getting the best of us so we paid our bill to another waiter and got out of there. Our original waiter never came back to our table. I realized then that this must be the custom in Switzerland.

What followed later will live in my mind forever. We had been given instructions to be back at the bus between 12:30-12:45. The bus was to leave at 1:00PM for Cuomo. Luann had decided that if the bus left at 1:00, that was the time we needed to be back by. The rest of us thought the logic made absolute sense. As we made our way to the fountain and the bus, the clock on the wall behind the fountain read 12:58. We were on time. As we made our way to the bus, I had a strange sensation that all was not well. The bus was spewing smoke out of the exhaust like it had been running for hours. The bus was full of people. There were only four people not on the bus (us). At the front door of the bus was Melissa. She had changed drastically in that hour and a half. She had grown at least forty feet, her black hair had turned red, her two eyes had come together to form one big eye in the middle of her forehead, and I think her feet had become hooved. Boy, she looked mad and ready to devour us. Oh, Oh, we were going to get it. As we climbed back on, our heads were dropped because we realized that our fellow travelers had probably all been there since 12:30. While we were eating and enjoying the meal, the beverage and the weather, these people had been on the bus for half an hour sitting. I was a little embarrased. The only time I remember feeling this way was when Luann and I went to St. Lucia in the Caribbean with her brother Dennis and his wife Judy. We were at an all inclusive resort that provided watersport equipment, including sail boats. After a quick sailing tutorial, we got Luann and Judy to hop on the boat and we went sailing. The four us were merrily sailing along when we went around a small island and we lost the wind. None of us could figure out how to get back. We were only allowed to have the boat for an hour and rental place closed at 4:00. It was already 5:00 and we were just sitting there, not moving. It wasn't long before the motorboat from the resort showed up to pull us back to the resort. They made us get into the motor boat and the guy driving it was furious. We were not supposed to have gone this far, the lecturer told us. We think the resort must have announced it over their PA system that the Iowans who had stolen the boat from the rental place had been located and were being brought in to shore because the beach was filled with on lookers watching us get out of that motor boat. We had not said a word the whole way back and now we just looked at the sand as we got off the boat. We kept our heads down as we sprinted up the hill to our rooms, hoping nobody would recognize us at dinner. That's the way I felt as our bus jumped into gear and headed up the highway to return us to Italy and lake Cuomo.

It didn't take long for the microphone to get turned on. Here it comes. Melissa was now back to being 4'11" and 90 lbs. again. Her eyes had returned to normal and the deep monster voice had given way to her mild East Coast accent. She wanted to let us know that from now on, she would only be giving us a departure time as it was too confusing for people. In other words, because a small group of four violated rule #2 and got away with it, she was going to get serious with departure times. I looked at Luann and saw the glee in her face because Luann had told us at lunch that Melissa had screwed up by giving us the three time slots. Luann will never admit, but she likes it when she is right about things like that. I heard Luann and Sharon talking and they suspected that someone on the bus had complained about us being late. This bus was getting on my nerves.

As I watched the interstate fly by with traffic, I tried to figure out how to make the most of this bus tour. The time we were spending at these locations was not long enough for us to do the things we enjoy doing. We were going to have the same situation in Cuomo. An hour and a half was not enough time. The best memories I have of my last trip here, were with the train system. I had a great idea. I would venture to guess that we could stay in Cuomo as long as we wanted and catch a train back to Stresa. There was no group dinner tonight, so we didn't have anything to get back to. I couldn't wait to run this by Luann. One of the biggest challenges I have had with members of the opposite sex can be boiled down to one simple word, timing. I normally say the right thing at the wrong time or the wrong thing at the right time. I don't wait and test the environment, I just talk. This was another case of that happening. I turned to Luann and told her I had an idea. Right there, I had a problem. Idea and me are not synonymous with success, in Luann's mind, but I told her anyway. She must have thought that I told her my idea was to highjack the bus because of the look she gave me. I should have waited for another time to pop this on her because she apparently didn't want to hear it now.

After an hour ride, quiet ride I may add, we finally crossed the border and started our descent into Cuomo. The traffic going the opposite way was bumper to bumper and had even come to a standstill. It was backed up for miles, not one or two, but closer to ten. I dreaded going back this way, if indeed we had to return the way we came. On the other hand, we moved along nicely and could see the pretty town of Cuomo as we started down the hill. I wondered if it would be possible to find the hotel we stayed at eight years ago. The microphone chirped as Melissa got on for her travel tid bits. I just looked at the scenery. She told us that we would be going to a silk manufacturing plant on our first stop. I thought to myself that this might be interesting. I wanted to see the worms that excreted the stuff that became silk. I wanted to watch people run the looms that made it into fabric. I have heard of silk, but know nothing of how it is made. As we worked our way through the town, I could see a lot of familiar sights, but saw nothing of our old hotel. The bus finally stopped across the street from the silk factory and we all got out. This was the major thoroughfare going through Cuomo so the traffic was crazy. All forty three of us climbed off the bus and had to wait on the corner so we could go tour the silk factory as a group. If we didn't look like a bunch of little kids dressed in old people's bodies, I don't know what did. The light changed and we crossed.

The entrance to this place looked like an entrance to a department store or office building. We entered on the ground floor and went down a flight of stairs to the lower level. Outside the front doors were a series of small ponds that were filled with small rocks and not much more than six inches deep. I saw no purpose to these waterway. Inside the building, we were herded to a corner in the lower level where a nice young lady with a strong accent greeted us. I looked all around for any place that might be hiding the worms. I also thought that may be, there was another adjoining buiding where workers would be threading looms and making silk. In the corner, all forty three of us watched as the nice lady told us who she was and what she did. Where are the worms I thought? She did the unthinkable. She turned on a TV set and we are now watching a video. I have no idea what it was about, except that this was our tour. I had already lost Luann because she took off with Pat and Sharon walking around this huge floor. I never paid attention when we came in, but this place was similar to the clothing section at Walmart. There were scarfs, hankies, purses and all sorts of stuff made out of silk. There was no manufacturing here. This place was nothing more than a scarf mart. I quickly left the video and caught up with Luann. This was going to be a waste of time and money if she were to buy anything. I followed her for a little bit, thinking about my train idea, when I saw a group of the guys going upstairs. The bathrooms must be up there and who knows what else. Anything is better than where I am currently. As I climbed the stairs and went through a glass enclosed hall way, I ended up in a bar. There was a bar. It had food, tables, people and drinks just waiting for me. I ordered my glass of wine, paid dearly for it, and looked for Luann from the balcony overlooking the scarf mart. She finally saw me, but she didn't have time to share a glass of wine with me because we had to board the bus again. One of the nice ladies from Michigan, Nancy, kiddingly asked me if I had bought anything. I looked her straight in the eye and said, "Yes, but I drank it already." She liked that and laughed. I can be pretty clever sometimes.

Our last stop in Cuomo was in the old section. It was the part of Cuomo that I liked the best. There were large squares in this area, loaded with shops, restaurants and lots of people. Luann and I had spent a lot of hours in this section on our last trip and getting our bearings was not difficult. The lake was across the busy highway, outlined with a black, heavy four inch round guard rail around its circumference. The harbor with all the tour boats and fishing boats was busy with people. Directly behind us was the main square and some of the most narrow, cobblestone streets you will ever walk on. When a car drove by you could almost feel it brush your arm. Pat and Sharon met up with us and we headed for the big square. We were supposed to be back by 6:30PM, which gave us a little less than two hours. I had not given up on my train idea and decided to bring it up again. It was received favorably by everyone. It's all timing. As we walked around, I saw a street vendor and between the four of us, we came up with four euros in coin to buy some grapes. They looked great. Sharon and Pat were a little skeptical and wished they had some sanitizer, but I popped some in my mouth and told them it would be ok. They smiled and we walked around town eating grapes.

Pat likes to walk and likes to lead. Luann and I have been here before, so we kind of hung back and let Pat lead us around. I knew how to get back if we got turned around. As we followed Pat out of the old section, I noticed that we where heading for the train station. What luck. We walked straight into it and I could not quit thinking of how much fun it would be to take the train back. As we approached the station, Luann and I talked about our experience eight years ago arriving at this station. There were a couple gentlemen with some books standing there waiting for some passerby to ask them what they had. There was a sales pitch in there somewhere. As we walked into the station, we looked at the schedules but couldn't make anything out of them. I went to an open ticket window and asked the lady if we could get to Stresa from here. She said yes. She wrote the number of the trains and the times and handed it to me. We had to do this exchange in Italian because she didn't speak much English. Luann and Pat had left the station and were waiting for Sharon and I as we walked out. I had the feeling that there would be no train ride tonight.

We walked out of the train station and took the steps down to the main street. The two gentlemen were still standing there handing out books and asked us if we were American. We just kept walking, as we knew that the pitch would come if we said anything. I had the train schedule in my hand and I could sense that there was not much interest now. It would be 8:00 PM or so before we got to Stresa and we did not know exactly where the train station was there. I knew it couldn't be too far from the hotel, but I didn't push it. If anyone felt the least bit apprehensive, it wouldn't be much fun going. We worked our way back to the square and the lake front, stopping at a museum. It was a square, white stone building right on the water front. Pat read the inscription on the outside wall and determined it was a museum dedicated to an electrical genius named Volt. I didn't make the connection. We walked in and walked right out because we really didn't have time to go through it. Walking back to the square, we looked for a place to have a beer or glass of wine. We had forty-five minutes before we needed to be on the bus and we didn't want to get in trouble again. The restaurant we found was the same restaurant that Luann and I had ate at years ago. It was small on the inside, but no one sat inside. The hundred or so people were all sitting at outdoor tables. This restaurant sat on the corner of the main street directly across from the lake. This street corner was very busy, with motorized and pedestrian traffic comingling effectively. There was a square across from it where people would stop and sit or just play with pets or soccer balls. The pidegeons would fly around not being an annoyance, but more part of the scenery. We sat down and waited for a waiter. We waited for quite some time before we received any service and unfortunately, we didn't get what we wanted. Pat and I wanted a dark beer and we got a regular beer. It was really my fault because we went to find the restrooms and Luann and Sharon were left to order. They couldn't speak any Italian and the waiter probably didn't speak English. It was ok, though. We enjoyed each others company and waited out the final minutes before we loaded back on the bus, which was parked on the other side of the square.

At 6:30PM, we loaded on the bus and started the ride back to Stresa. As we pulled out, I noticed some young kids at a bus stop smoking cigarettes and chatting. I was amazed at how many kids smoked over here. We did not go back the same we came, so the ride back was shorter. We even drove past the hotel we had stayed at eight years ago. It was the Intercontinental Hotel and I had found it. Luann thought that was kind of neat. Melissa reminded us that we were on our own for dinner and gave us the opportunity to vote on tomorrow's tour. Tomorrow we would be going to Bergamo to visit a castle, cathedral and vineyard. We were going to see how balsamic vinegar was made. The vote was merely to see if the group would rather leave an hour early to avoid the cathedral being closed for Sunday services. I refused to raise my hand as I knew that the vote would go which ever way the Michigan group voted. We were outnumbered three to one. Sure enough, it was determined that we would stay on the same schedule. We must have looked ridiculous to people passing us on the highway wondering what all those old people were doing with their hands raised. I sat quietly all the way, as Luann, Sharon and Pat dozed a little. I knew that before this tour was over, I was going to see the world's largets frying pan or the world's biggest ball of yarn. I couldn't contain my exhuberance at the thought.

We pulled into Stresa around 7:15 PM and everyone scattered once they got off the bus. Most of us went back to our baby hotel rooms to freshen up. Pat and Sharon said they would meet us in the lobby and we could dine together. We all met a short time later in the lobby and added more people to our dinner group. It was going to be our Iowa travel contingency, minus Doyle and Cindy. I saw them heading down the promenade along the lake. The rest of us, all ten, headed up town to see what our choices were. The suggestion was made to have a drink before dinner, which thank heaven, did not need to be voted on. We looked for a bar. We passed bars on every street. Some were too small to seat all ten of us, some looked like they were closed and some we just walked by. There we were, the ten of us, moving like the blob, inching our way up and down cobblestone streets. We would would walk in, look at the menu and the facility, then walk out. We finally found a place that was a small hotel. It was called Elena's. There was no one in the place, so we were able to get tables in the back for the ten of us. We were allowed to have a drink, with some complimentary potato chips, and just relax. This place turned out to be perfect. We sat, talked, joked around and took pictures all around the table. We had our drink, left the establishment and headed to find a restaurant for dinner.

The group had seen a place that specialized in pizza a couple blocks away from the square, which is where we were now standing. It looked very good and it had heat lamps for outside diners, which would come in handy as the night was cooling down pretty fast. When we arrived, they were too busy to seat us, so we left. We walked back to the square and found another hotel restaurant, called the Plantation and decided this was it. We told the server that we needed seats for ten and the staff quickly put chairs and tables together. We had a long table, with white table cloth right in the middle of the restaurant. There were not many people there, so we pretty much had the place to ourselves. A nice sixty some year old woman was going to be our waitress and I had to make sure that she knew the tickets would be separate and that we needed to be able to pay with credit card. She had given us the impression that she didn't speak English so I was forever chasing her down, talking to her in broken Italian, mixed with Spanish, a little English and a lot of Pig Latin. It turned out that her English was better than any of our Italian. We had a long, great dinner and at one point, the whole staff left the restaurant to watch a procession passing by. It was a Virgin Mary Feast day and the church congregation was doing a procession around the square to honor her. At first, we thought someone had gotten hurt outside the restaurant or that there was a funeral procession. It never ocurred to us that they probably don't bury people in the dark either.

We left the restaurant around 10:00 pm. Some of us walked around the block to work off some of the dinner, others went right back to the hotel. Again, we did both. We had heard from others that the hotel reception and doors were locked at 11:00 PM. We didn't need that kind of a hastle, so we went back after a short walk. It was time to call it a night. Overall, it had been a fun day. We decided to get a bottle of wine and two glasses and go up to our room and sit on the balcony. The hotel bar gladly sold us the bottle. We went to the reception desk and put in a request for a wake up call. Breakfast was at 7:30 and the bus was leaving at 8:30. We put the request in for a 6:30 AM wake up call. The little voice in the back of my head told me that it might be too early, but I didn't listen to it. Luann always woke up anyway, so it really didn't affect me. We got our bottle of wine and ran into Bob and Bonnie as they were getting ready to leave the hotel to make a call to their kids back home. Luann suggested that they go to Pat and Sharon's room because Pat had an international cell phone that could be used. She also mentioned that our cell phone was in Pat's room getting charged. Our charger didn't work. I've never been on a trip, where our technical tools were so inferior to everyone elses. I wonder what Bonie and Bob thought when they saw the bottle of wine in my hand.

We got back to the room, confident that we would sleep better than last night and headed for the balcony. I poured us a small glass of wine. The glasses here were like the coffee cups. They could have come out of a little kids play tea set because they were so small. The air on the balcony was too cold, so we went in. Luann read and I went back to my routine with the set. It was not any different than last night. In and out of bed changing channels and adjusting volume, playing with the power button and just giving up, finally concluded the nights ritual. The TV went off, reading light out and the deep sleep set in.

Day 2

It was 11:00 AM in Frankfort Germany as our Delta flight began its descent. The crew had begun the breakfast service 1/1/2 hours before we touched down and they were picking the rest of the trash up as the plane made its final descent. Luann had awaken in time to eat and now she was resting with her eyes closed and looking extremely satisfied and content. It made me sick just watching her. How could she do it so easily, trip after trip? The plane had now taken a whole different personality. It was now buzzing with noise, smiles all around and people looking out windows. The window blinds were pretty much raised and people occupying those seats were like royalty. The majority of people on these flights don't have window seats, so everyone without a seat is trying to catch a glimpse of land. They have to go through the keeper of the window seat. For a lot of these people, it is the first time they have ever seen Germany or any other European country from the air. As you might expect, heads were moving in all directions. The three seat middle aisle that had not seen anything but plane cabin and heads was desperate to get a glimpse of land. It was like watching an ostrich farm when all the ostriches are frantically looking for sand to put their heads in. I was the worst one of all. Unfortunately, there was nothing to see. It was thick as smoke out there and no one could tell if we were near the airstrip or miles above it. The plane hit a spot of turbulence somewhere before touchdown and many of use thought we had landed. It came as a surprise when 20 seconds later we did actually touch down. Smiles disappeared for a few seconds. It was over. We were in Frankfort Germany and Luann and I have never been here before.

When I would picture Frankfort Germany, visions of cold war espionage would come to my head right away. I always imagined a gloomy, cloudy, busy and eerie kind of city. I think it is from some of the novels and spy movies I have read and seen during my life. Other that that, the only reference I can remember of Frankfort is when Colonel Hogan used to talk to Commandant Klink about Frankfort and Dusseldorf. As we taxied in, the keepers of the windows allowed us to get a good glimpse of the airport and the surrounding geography. Boy, was I surprised to see that it was a cloudy, gloomy, busy and sort of eerie. I could not believe that it was exactly as I had pictured it. How often does that happen?

We deplaned and now the vacation is one step closer to starting. All we have to do is get to the connecting flight and head for Milan Italy and we are home free. Our group met at the end of the concourse where we had deplaned and it looked like were going to have to walk to another terminal. The rest of the group looked great. I looked like a homeless person. Pat and Sharon headed us to the right door and we started walking. I couldn't talk, I couldn't walk, I couldn't think. There was a big fight going on within me. My brain was yelling at my body for not being able to relax and my body was blaming my brain for not being tough enough to ignore the distractions on the plane and fall asleep. It was awful. Luann asked me of I was mad or if I was tired. All I could muster was a grunt. I usually like to take control in situations like this, but I couldn't . I just followed the group. It seemed liked we walked for hours. I have never been through an airport that I climbed up and down more escalators, went through more doors, took more lefts and rights, read more signs and moved my carry on from one hand to another so many times. Going through customs was the easiest and fastest part. When we finally arrived at security to go to the gate, there must have been five hundred people in front of us. The line had at least four, maybe six horizontal ques and the length had to have been at least one hundred feet long. I was afraid we would miss our flight. Apparently security was too, because they started looking for passengers going to Italy and moving them to the front of the line. We all got through and our gate was not more than fifty yards from where we were. We are now at the gate and see that the flight to Milan is on time. We are almost home free. We have a few minutes to freshen up, so now it comes time to find the restrooms (WC as they are called in Europe). I will never bad mouth another US airport again. The Frankfort airport could pass for any American airport. It is modern, has lots of shops and restaurants and it is very clean. There is one major difference. They hide their bathrooms. There must have been five or six of us walking in all directions, running into each other looking for a bathroom. Where we have one bathroom for every ten or so gates, I don't know if this airport had ten or so bathrooms in the whole airport. We had to go through the duty free shop, take a right and it was stuck behind the Kiosk bar. One person could not find it by him or herself. It was truly a team effort.

Our last experience in Frankfort was with Alitalia Airline. I felt a little better now, having splashed cold water on my face and I was eager to get to Milan. The boarding doors were opened and we walked out into the cool, cloudy afternoon daylight fully expecting to see an airplane. There was no airplane out these doors. The doors led to a sidewalk that ran along the tarmac and to a bus. Yes, a bus. The bus that has poles in the middle that gives the passenger a clue that there will be more people on this bus than there is room. We were literally on the tarmac, but you couldn't tell it with all the bus and truck traffic running around. Shirley kiddingly talked about the bus taking us to Milan. The bus sat there for a good ten minutes as people kept piling in and piling in. It reminded me of some of those buses you see on that travel channel showing New Delhi India, where people are almost hanging out of them. It finally moved and we headed for the plane. The ride to the plane was as neat of a bus ride as I have ever had. We had this bus that looked like a small toy driving next to these huge planes. There were buses everywhere just like this, dodging around parked planes. There were planes landing and departing, not more that a football field away from us. Our bus driver even got screamed at by one of the baggage trucks as he cut the baggage guy off. This went on like this for a good five minutes and we finally arrived at our plane. The steps were out and we climbed on board. I knew I was going to do everything I could to get some sleep.

Luann and I got split up on this leg because of the delay in Cincinnati. We were OK with that because we both knew it wasn't a long flight and she needed the break after having spent all that time babysitting me on this trip. As soon as I got in my seat, it was time to close my eyes and let me fall under that dark blanket we call sleep. A person would think that after all this time with no sleep, I would nod off immediately. It was not to be. I thought I had gotten into a school bus full of kids with the chatter that was coming from two ladies about five rows behind me. I was so tired, I couldn't tell what language they were speaking . Also, the flight attendant had to make all the announcements in Italian and English. As soon as I would doze off, the attendant would come on. I got caught trying to understand the Italian and then have to listen to the English part to see if I got any of it right. I was lucky to have understood one word out of a hundred. It was a lot harder than those CD's I had listened to back home. Finally, the in flight service started and it was quiet. I fell asleep for almost a half and hour, when I woke to find the attendant staring at me. He wanted to know if I wanted the Italian version of our peanut or pretzels. We got crackers with a tomato taste and small bite size cookies. They were pretty good. As I looked out the window, I noticed we were flying over the Alps. It was one of the most beautiful scenes I have ever seen. We were close to Milan, just crossing the border and I could see the Matterhorn. The sky was absolutely clear, we were fairly low and we got a great view of the countryside. It was breathtaking. To make the flight even better was the fact that now the flight attendant had the beverage cart next to us. The wine was complimentary. I have never been on flight where wine was served like the water. I had to have a glass. Sharon and Pat were across from me and Sharon reminded me that it was early morning back home. I didn't care. If I only drink once in a while, this would be it. Once in the morning and a while tonight. My vacation had started. Window seat, great view, a little sleep and a glass of wine. I was ready for anything.

We landed in Milan/Melpansa airport. I wish the flight would have taken me to Stressa. We arrived without a hitch and without luggage, so it seemed. I met up with Luann and asked her if she had a glass of wine on the plane. I was so excited. She said no, as she slept the whole time. She is incredible. All twelve of us waited at the carousel. A few bags would come off, but nothing resembling any of ours. The wait lasted around thirty minutes, when a porter came with all of our bags. He was a big guy, with a pony tail and smiling eyes. He was our hero. How he got the bags was beyond me, but I didn't care. I got our bags and everyone else got their bags and finally we were ready to go find the tour guide. Snag number two hit. One of Bonnie's bags was not there. As we all sat there or stood there or walked around, a posse was formed to look for her bag. Bob went to patrol all the carousels (11 of them), Bonnie and Doyle went to the lost and found and the rest of us hung around. We watched people arrive, get their bags, walk through the exits and wondered if we were ever going to get out of this airport. It took a heroic effort, but someone in our group suggested that we leave and find the bus. Eleven of us walked out through the exit into the ground transportation area. Doyle and Luann went looking for the tour guide and didn't realize that she had found us. She was real short, so they may not have seen her. Either way, we got everyone rounded up and Bonnie came out of the baggage claim area with her bag. It had gone to Rome. Lucky bag! (the luggage, not Bonnie).

All twelve of us loaded into the tour bus that was big enough for fifty people, but we didn't care. We were going to the hotel. After a brief announcement from the guide, we rolled. I sat by myself, not because I didn't want to sit with Luann. but because I could put my carry on on the seat next to me. This way we both had window seats to enjoy the view. Milan looked exactly as it did eight years ago. It looked great. A one hour bus ride along the toll road that goes to Chiosso and Cuomo took us to the Stresa exit. The city of Stresa is one of many small cities that are on the waters edge of Lago Maggiore. Lago Maggiorie is a huge lake with small islands scattered throughout it, the Borromean Islands.. There are three of the bigger islands in the middle of this lake that are pretty well known, one of which will be our dinner location tonight. The bus made its way down the narrow highway from the highlands and then wound around narrow streets along the lakeside, through the small towns until we arrived in Stresa. This is a resort community and I can only imagine what this town looks like in the summer time during peak season. A quaint, but beautiful promenade along the highway gave way to the series of large and small hotels and inns that hid the small downtown stores. People were sitting in outdoor cafes drinking coffee, beer, cappuccino and a host of other beverages, along with food and pastries. It was enchanting. The bus dropped us off in front of the Hotel Milan Speranza au LAc Lungolago and we eagerly, but tiredly filed out to check in. I have never gotten used to the narrowness of the streets but that is the way this whole town was. Check in was a breeze as the travel guide gave the receptionist the names of the couples on the tour list, in turn, each couple got a room key. We were all taken up by elevator, two couples at a time, without our bags, because the elevator could only carry four people due to its small size. It took a few extra minutes to get to our rooms, but that was OK. We had made it!

In Europe, when you get a room key, it is attached to a big wooden or metal instrument. This makes it very difficult to lose a key and more difficult to carry the key in your pocket. When we were in Europe eights years ago, it took me almost a week to figure that out. I would carry the key, attached to the wooden or metal piece, and put it in my pocket. Going to dinner or simply walking around was very cumbersome and I looked like an idiot leaving the hotel. I thought I could outsmart them by taking the key off the instrument, but then I had one small little key that I knew I would lose. I finally noticed back then, that people would leave their keys, instrument and all, with the receptionist when they left the hotel and ask for their key when they got back to the hotel. I don't feel too bad about being that ignorant because Luann had not figured it out either. The group got a kick out of it when I told them. They probably wondered how they were going to last with me for a whole week.

Luann and I walked into a small, dark little room. There was nothing modern about this room. The bathroom was immediately to our left, with all the fixtures that normally belong in a bathroom. It also had a bidet, which resembled a urinal, only it had a drain in it and separate water faucets. I knew it would probably not be used as it looked awful uncomfortable. The bathroom was not proportional to the rest of the room. It seemed bigger than it should have been. In the hallway entering the room, there were a group of hooks along the right wall for coats and a mirror exactly opposite on our left. The mirror was actually the short wall of the built in closet. The bed sat in the middle of this room and two people could not walk side by side around the bed to the closet. There was a small table desk combination where a TV set sat across from the bed and we used this to set some of our luggage on. The other bag, mine, went on the floor. The closet wasn't deep enough for the bags. The TV was a small 16" that resembled the TVs we had given to Goodwill not too many years before. On each side of the bed was a night stand with lamps for reading. The phone was on Luann's side of the bed. The one thing missing from the room was a clock. We didn't pay much attention to the lack of the clock, but it would come back to haunt us. At the end of the room was a long, two pane door that led to a balcony. Our room was situated above the narrow street over the entrance to the hotel. There was a church right across from us, which we could see and hear the workers fixing up. A statue of the Angel Gabriel with his horn was covered under a blue tarp, guarding the entrance to the Church. It was a picture perfect setting for us. It was now 4:00 pm and we were all to get together at 6:15 for the night reception dinner. We were tired but a quick shower, clean clothes and the excitement of being here, propelled us to go out and explore this quaint town before we got together as a group.

Luann and I had about an hour to walk around and see what Stresa looked like. Walking out the front entrance of the hotel (I made sure I handed the receptionist my huge room key) we ventured into the narrow street. To our left was the center of town (centro) and to our right, across the busy highway (autostrada), was the promenade and the lake. We decided to go left and see the downtown. The street was the same size our alleys back home and it had reddish and gray cobblestone/brick surface. There was a pharmacy on the left hand side, you could tell by the green neon cross, and the church was on our right. A cross street, same size and composition, was at the end of our block. In the middle of that block was a wine store. If you looked up the street we were on and walked straight, you would run right into that wine store. We didn't run. We walked right into that store. We love our reds and to our surprise, the nice lady running the store had a couple bottles of Italian wines and she was giving a wine tasting to another customer. It did not take but a few moments for her to offer a couple of glasses for us to try. One was a Barbera grape wine, which was excellent, and the other a grape I have never heard of. We liked the Barbera wine better. What a nice way to start the three day stay in Stresa. We said our farewells to the proprietor and promised to be back. We meandered around the small downtown, which was a maze of small turns loaded with shops, restaurants and small hotels. The back of the the downtown, away from the lake, was hilly and made for a challenging walk on the cobblestone surface. This reminded me of an amusement park arcade, where it is all make believe. However, this was real and it was nice. A stop at the ATM for some Euros and our walk time was over. It was time to go meet the group for dinner.

We arrived back at the hotel before everyone else had gathered, which gave us time to get a glass of wine at the bar. The bar was a short two steps on the other side of the reception desk. It was very small and had seating for probably fifteen people. A wall separated the body of the bar from reception and the rest of the lobby. However, it was in perfect proportion to the small hotel. The rest of the group finally showed up and instead of going to dinner, we were told to go up a flight of stairs to a conference room. This conference room was fairly good sized and not dissimilar to the conference rooms at our hotels. At this time, we learned that the twelve of us were going to be combined with a group from Michigan. This group was thirty one strong and they had just arrived from a Collette Vacation tour of Southern Italy and Sicily. They had been on the road for nine days prior to this part of their tour. As we all sat at various tables, the hotel staff began serving us wine. They were very quick to make sure we didn't help ourselves, as Luann and Pat found out right away. We listened to our Collette vacation representative tell us what the agenda was going to be for the next few days. She told us what time breakfast would be served, what time the bus would leave for our tours, what we should wear, where we would be going and more information than I really cared to listen to. She handed out a folder for each couple to keep the handouts that Collette would be giving us throughout the tour. I felt like I was in a work related conference. Finally, we did the dirty deed. We had to introduce each other and tell each other a little something about ourselves. If you had asked me after this to tell you the names of the people that had introduced themselves, I would probably remember the twelve in our group (including me) and none of the Michigan people, let alone any tid bit of information. I introduced myself as an employee of Collette travel, which got a couple of laughs, but I did it because I am a rebellious individual and I didn't think the group needed to go through this team building exercise. After forty five minutes and three small glasses of wine (just a guess), we were instructed to meet in front of the hotel for our walk across the busy street to board two small boats that would take us to the Isola Bella (beautiful island) in the middle of Lago Maggiore for dinner. Our preschool class of older people was now a team, according to the tour rep. The only thing missing was a red lanyard that we could all hold on to as we crossed the street.

There are many highlights on this trip and this one dinner was one of the best. We boarded the two small boats. Older model boats, with a deep seating area in the middle and an elevated area in the back. Some people in the group sat in the covered part of the boat, which was in the middle, while others sat in the back. The view was gorgeous no matter where a person sat. It had already turned dark outside, but the lights from the town and house lights in the mountains gave us a lighted,romantic backdrop for a five minute boat ride to the island. The temperature was in the low sixties and dropping, but we were all mezmorized by the view. The boats churned the water into a frothy spume as we sped along the top of the water and we could not help but think that this had to be one of the prettiest settings we had ever seen. It was a setting out of a romantic novel or movie.

We pulled into the island and were dropped off on the dock. This small island is one big castle with a huge botanical garden. Since it was already dark, it was hard to see much of the grounds, but we got a good glimpse of the castle. It was huge and stretched for three quarters of the islands length. We were only going to experience a small part of it. The part that had been converted into a restaurant was where we were led. We climbed one flight of stairs, and through a small door we entered into a big dining area with two levels. The Michigan people pretty well took up the upper level and the twelve of us sat at a long table on the lower level, with some of the local customers. We were treated to a five plate dinner consisting of fish and veal, along with unlimited wine. It was topped off with gelato and a lemonjello after dinner drink that tasted like lemon drops from a blender. Our group talked, laughed and had a great time. Unfortunately, it came to an end an hour or so later and we had to load up in the boats and go back to the hotel. The temperature had really dropped now, so the back of the boat was even covered. As we headed back, the tall guy from Michigan, was chastised by his wife for something he did and he had to get Kenny McDaniel to attest to the fact that he wasn't as bad as his wife said he was. That made the ride back a little more memorable as we refelected about our delicious dinner and laughed at the poor Michigan guy's plight.

We arrived back at the dock and everyone went their separate ways. Most people went back to the hotel to go to bed, some went for a walk and some hung around the lobby. Luann and I did all three. We hung around the lobby and met Rageddy Ann and Andy (ardent Notre Dame fans) and talked about their daughter and my son who attended Notre Dame. We also met Jerry and Jan, who we found out later was sick with a cold. We learned more about them in five minutes than we could have ever learned about them in the team building session hours earlier. Luann and I got our key, got a warmer coat and went for a short walk. We returned approximately a half hour later and went to bed. We were ready. It was now 11:00 PM, or 4:00 PM Iowa time. I had been up thirty four hours and looked it. I couldn't wait for sleep to take over my body.

Northern Italy:Day 1, the flight

Luann and I belong to a club through our local bank. It is called the First Priority Club and is managed by First National Bank of Muscatine. You must be over 50 to join it. Every two years the bank's marketing department coordinates a trip for its members to visit international locations. This year's trip was to Northern Italy and the travel company that was used was Collette Vacations. As I have a lot to write about with this nine day trip, it will be broken down by the individual days that we traveled and the flight down and back.

Before I begin, I will mention that there are some things that I learned from this trip, regarding travel, that I never really paid attention to in the past. I never realized the difference between a travel company and a travel agent. Lu and I have used travel agents in the past and found them to be helpful from the start to the end of a trip. This time we were using a travel company and we realized from the start that once you hit the airport, they are out of the picture until you arrive at your destination. This will be more evident as we go through the blog.

Our trip started on October 11, 2008 out of Muscatine, Iowa. The group that went was Herm and Lu Ferreira, Pat and Sharon Mullin (no s on the end, we learned this in Ireland), Ken and Shirley McDaniel, Bob and Bonnie Nichols (Bonnie was the bank's marketing representative), Anne Carroll and her wonderful mother Patsy and Doyle and Cindy Tubandt (Doyle has a nick name that we promised to keep to ourselves). Though we all come from different backgrounds and careers, we all pretty much have had experience in travel and love it. Our plane was to leave Cedar Rapids Iowa at 11:30 AM and fly to Cincinnati where we would make a connection and fly to JFK, ultimately ending up in Milan/Malpensa Italy early the next day. It was not the ideal flight plan , but the airline, (Delta) had cancelled the option of going to Atlanta and then flying over to Milan, according to our travel company. We were told at a briefing prior to the trip that we would be boarding a shuttle in Muscatine starting at 6:30 AM. and leaving no later than 7:15 AM. Lu and I were the last ones to arrive at 7:00 AM. which was probably a bleak foreboding to the rest of the group. The trip to the airport is only an hour and we knew that we had plenty of time before the flight. We apologize to the group if we caused them any undue stress.
A gorgeous fall morning (sunny and warm) was the perfect setting as the 12 of us headed for Cedar Rapids. We arrived at the airport and proceeded to check in. This airport is fairly small, but it didn't take long for most of the group to take a right instead of a left and end up at the opposite end of the airport. I mentioned earlier that we are experienced travelers. Check in was very non eventful, except that Delta must have seen us take the wrong turn and had at least 4 representatives at their ticket counter waiting on the 12 of us. We checked in and had a good 2 1/2 hours to departure. With this kind of time, our group did what was natural to us. We headed for the restaurant. After a nice breakfast, coffee and chit chat, we headed for the gate and waited for the announcement to board. The announcement came shortly afterwards and we were ready to board. We had to have a picture prior to boarding, which probably seemed unusual to others on that flight since we were only going to Cincinnati , but did I mention that we are experienced travelers?

The flight to Cincinnati took a half hour less than scheduled and we got there in plenty of time to make our connection to JFK. The weather was clear and it looked like our vacation was off to a great start. We arrived at terminal A and our flight left from terminal B, so we all had to march to the flight schedule monitors to see what gate we would soon be flying out of and how we would get to the other terminal. The monitor had roughly 10 screens listing the numerous flights that would be departing that day to all parts of the country. As we watched that screen with the eagerness that small children have when they are watching their favorite cartoon show, we were horrified to see that of all the flights leaving today, the only delays were to JFK and Newark, NJ. The flights to La Guardia, which is right by JFK, were even going. Bonnie, our rep and good friend, frantically got on her cell phone and started contacting Collette for help. That was when we learned that it was not their issue, but that we would have to deal with the airport. Luann called Delta for help, which informed us that there were weather problems at JFK. We also heard that the delay was coming from the inbound plane that had experienced mechanical problems. Some of the group went to eat, some went to the bathroom, some went walking, others were on cell phones, not me. I went to watch the news to see if there had been a terrorist alert in New York City. The great vacation had run into its first and biggest snag.

After the smoke had cleared and we regained our sanity and confidence, we were told that the plane from Phoenix had left and was on its way. We still had a chance. We figured out that if the plane from Phoenix showed up at the delayed time, we could still make it to the connection for Italy in time. The guy with the nickname that only we know and can't tell (Doyle) was going to sprint to the gate and hold the plane for us if he could, while Bob, Bonnie's husband, was going to block for him. That is the kind of group members we had (committed) We also found out that if we missed our flight, we could get on a flight to Paris and connect to Milan and be there in the morning. We patiently waited and the flight from Phoenix came in 15 minutes early. The gate monitor showed us that there was light rain at JFK, so we all felt that we were home free. All we had to worry about was whether there was any truth to the mechanical problem theory.

Just because a plane that's late comes in a few minutes early does not mean that they will board it and move it any faster. We steadfastly watched the clock run as angry passengers stormed out of the plane that had just landed, throwing carry ons on the floor and shooting at people with cosmic rays from their angry eyes, as they watched their connecting flight leave the gate next to them. It was like watching a comedy, but we couldn't laugh because we knew the feeling. There was only one among us that would act like that (me) so I moved to a corner where no one could see me and hoped that this would not repeat itself at JFK. Well, we boarded the plane and settled down, with a nervous anticipation. We were on the edge and any further delay would seal our fate. It is appropriate to mention that this was a one week trip and we paid handsomely for it. Any delay that could cause us to lose a day in Italy, made the trip that much more expensive and no one wants to think they got a bad deal, especially the experienced travelers that we were.

I have a hearing problem and have been accused of jumping the gun when I think I hear something that really wasn't said. This was the case in seat 28f when to my utter horror, I hear the fate sealing comment. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have been informed that we must remain at the gate for approximately 30 minutes more,while we get clearance from control to depart. We apologize for any inconvenience." If any one has ever seen the movie" The Exorcist", the part where Linda Blair's head does a 360 degree turn, well Luann saw a similar scene sitting there in seat 28E. Eyes red, head spinning, four letter words flying I turned my head without my body and asked her. "What did he say?" She tried to calm me down, but I was gone. I knew that we would miss the flight now in New York. I had studied Italian, not French. I wanted pizza, not crepes. There was a good chance we would not make it at all that night. I was frantically trying to figure out options, but we were all trapped. And then, it happened, the pilot again. " Ladies and gentlemen, we are having trouble getting clearance from control. We are offering you the opportunity to deplane as we may be here up to 2 1/2 more hours. If you deplane, it is possible that we could get clearance and have to leave immediately, so we advise you to stay close to the gate." There was no way we were going to spend our first night of vacation in Cincinnati Ohio when we paid to spend it in Italy. There was no way I was going to hang around the gate waiting for the inevitable. I bolted, looked at fellow group members sitting so calmly, saw the look of fear in Luann's eyes as she wondered, "what stupid thing is he going to do now?" and hustled off the plane to beat the rush to gate 24 where the Delta customer service was. I wasn't fast enough. There was a line four deep at the counter as Luann, Bonnie and the rest of the group started filing in behind me. There is nothing more disheartening to an experienced traveler as rehearsing every thing you are going to say to customer service about how upset you are, demand service, be tough and then have to stand in line and realize that you are helpless and at their mercy. I turned into a kitten in line. I watched as Bonnie and Luann talked to people that could help us get out of this mess and realized that I had forgotten what I was going to tell customer service about their air line. The kitten in line turned into a mouse. All I could do was watch and listen as Bonnie, Luann and Sharon were able to get us on a flight from Cincinnati to Frankfort Germany and then connect to Milan. All twelve of us. They were even able to get our bags off the delayed flight. It was like watching skilled surgeons operating on a patient. My only contribution was to talk to Alvaro Smith (can't remember his last name, but he deserves one for his help) about golf. It was finally done and we were going to depart at 7:35PM, arriving Frankfort at 11:30AM and ending up in Milan at 1:00 PM, experiencing a four hour delay versus a full day. Time for a beer and applause for the heroins at an airport bar. I declined the beer because mice don't drink beer and I didn't want any cheese.

At 7:00 PM, they announced the first boarding for the flight to Frankfort Germany. I always look at the flight as a leading indicator of how a vacation goes. If I get a window seat and Luann an aisle seat, it usually means good things will happen. It's not to say that we will have a bad time if we don't, because we usually have a good time wherever we go, it's just icing on the cake. We like our cakes iced. Needless to say, it didn't happen this time. We were in a 737, where there are three seats in the middle. Luann got her aisle seat, I got the middle seat and an elderly lady got the other aisle. I looked frantically for an open window and aisle seat, but to no avail. We were going to fly for 8+hours looking at the back of people's heads and not having a glimpse of land, sea or clouds. How depressing. As the doors closed and flight attendants were directed to prepare for departure, the elderly lady said something to one of the attendants and shot out of her seat to the back of the plane. To my shock, there was a window and aisle seat together not ten rows behind us. The lady took the window seat and I cried. It didn't take long to make a bad situation turn out right. I took her seat and now Lu and I had a seat between us to pile up our books, magazines, head phones and any other necessary item for the long transatlantic flight. All we had to do now was pass the time.

Luann and I like to travel and our preferred method of transportation is the airplane. It is fast, normally comfortable and you get waited on. However, a transatlantic flight in economy class at night tests us. Luann has the great ability to relax herself, which allows her to get a pretty good nights sleep considering the distractions that are constant on a trip such as this one. Me, on the other hand, can't relax enough on a flight like this to nap for more than 10 minutes. My friend Alvaro Smith (not his real last name) gave us all a free drink ticket to ease the pain and suffering we had incurred in Cincinnati. In addition, Delta offers a complimentary drink with their dinner on all international travel. My calculations told me that two drinks could possibly help me get sleepy enough so that I could get at least 3-4 hours sleep before we landed. I have to have some sleep or I am toast. I did not want to go through my first day in Italy feeling and looking like the walking dead. I had a scotch and water with the my drink ticket and a little later had a wine with my cheese ravioli dinner. The dinner service was actually pretty good and I thought I might be able to pull it off and actually sleep. The problem, however, was that it was still fairly early for me. I tried to work on my Italian and even tried the cross word puzzle in the magazine. My concentration was weak so I gave up on both. The movie had already started so I gave up on it. I just stared at the heads in front of me and wondered how the trip would turn out and wished I had taken a cruise ship instead. Oh well, too late for an alternate form of transportation. After an hour of this, the lights went low, the talking slowed down and I could see the heads start to sag and disappear. These lucky people in front of me were actually falling asleep. My lovely partner had already drifted off and I was sitting there with nothing to do and a long long time to do it. It was time to give it a shot and see if sleep would be a possibility. I closed my eyes, turned down my hearing aids and waited. It came. Not the sleep that I desperately needed, but the cough. The guy over my left shoulder could not quit coughing. If you have ever tried to sleep with a dog barking, you could go through the same ordeal with this guy's cough. It wasn't real loud, it was just at the right sequence and pitch that I could not tune it out. I tried real hard. I even put on the ridiculous red mask that goes over your eyes to make everything darker, but I kept picturing how stupid I looked with it, and that would keep me awake. I took the mask off, I watched the movie, I put the mask on , I turned off the movie, I worked the crossword, I quit the crossword. It was an endless sequence of activities that went unnoticed to everyone else on the plane, except me. My lovely partner was still out like a light. Man, was she a good traveler, boy was I a bad traveler. Oh well, the ordeal finally ended when we touched down in Frankfort Germany. I clocked approximately seven minutes of sleep time, which is a number I made up before I became the star of the "Day of The Walking Dead in Italy. " It was 11:00 AM in Germany, or 4:00 AM back home. Boy, Was I tired.

vikings/Packers in Minneapolis

We woke up Saturday morning, no worse for wear and we were ready to head out for Minneapolis to meet with Doug and Michelle, our rivals for the Sunday battle at the dome. After a filling breakfast at the hotel, we were off and running. This Court Yard served the best breakfast that we have had in these types of hotels. The trip to Minneapolis took us north to Eu Claire, where we would cross the border into Minnesota. We knew it would take us about three hours and that we really did not need to be there before noon. The trip up interstate 94 was very scenic and pretty quick. Traffic moved along and the left lane was pretty much left for passing cars, unlike what we had seen on the way up from Indianapolis, where the left lane was used by the slowest drivers allowed on interstates so that the faster drivers could pass on the right. About 60 miles north of Madison we started hitting rain and it rained on us all the way to Bloomington. This rain was to haunt us for the rest of the driving part of our trip. It was a strange rain. It was the kind of rain that made you have to use the windshield wipers like a skilled craftsman. It would not rain consistently enough to let the wipers run, it would slow up just enough to have to keep adjusting the tempo. When we would get the right tempo, it would pour and then we have to start over. It went on like this for most of the drive. Fortunately, it was less than the 250 miles that it takes for Herm to lose it, so there were no instances on this leg that required mending time. It was during this leg that Luann came up with the idea to start the blog. We found it a little difficult to blog and drive at the same time, but we pulled it off.



We arrived at the Marriott Court Yard in Bloomington Minnesota before 1:00 pm and it was one of those rare times when the navigator and pilot pulled it off without a fist fight. High fives were shared by both of us and we checked in, happily putting the car away for a couple of days. We patiently waited for Doug and Michelle who were coming in from the other direction, Johnston Iowa. They showed up a little after us and after our hellos and hugs, it was time to get down to business. We had to show them our Packer clothes and hoped they would not be too jealous of us. As luck would have it, they were pretty good at accepting their fate as viking fans and hid their emotions pretty well. I could see it in their eyes that they wished they were us for that short moment in time. Doug had been astute enough to make reservations for that evening at the Mall of America for dinner. Usually when the word mall comes up, it is not a good omen. It is synonymous with BORING, crowds, frivolous spending and just a waste of time. However, we were not with ordinary people. We were with Doug and Michelle. Though they are much younger than us, they are two of the most fun people you could spend time with. They like their beer and their wine and can converse about any topic under the sun, so I knew I was safe. No shopping today! Since Doug and Michelle have spent a lot more time here than we have, they knew where to go to watch some college football and have some appetizers and a beer before our dinner reservations. We had appetizers and beer at the Stadium Club Sports bar located on the upper level of the mall. The beer was good (Summit) and the appetizers were normal for that kind of an environment. The only issue we had with this place was that they ran out of glasses for our beer. We can handle beer out of plastic at things like wedding receptions, company Christmas dinners and keg parties. However, a person should never have to drink from a plastic container at any restaurant. Fortunately for us, we had gotten glasses before they ran out so we had them, then all we had to do was transfer the beer from the plastic cup to the glass. We got a big surprise when we found out the plastic cups contained more beer than the glass we got originally. We were hoping they had plastic pitchers, but they didn't. We wanted to rate this place, but the fact is, we couldn't determine how to factor in the beer and the plastic cups. A good time was had by all, so we think this bar is worth going to. We finished at the sports bar and went to dinner. We had a nice dinner at the Napa Valley Grill. The food here was very good, a 3 coconut. Their martinis were very good and they had a nice selection from the wine list. The service was good and for the most part, very fast. We were not in the restaurant very long and finished dinner well ahead of the time the mall closes. We went back to the hotel to get ready for the next day, which was game day. Overall, it was an early night, but it had been a long and filling day. Life doesn't get much better than that.



Morning came sooner than expected, but that was ok. It was game day, we had tickets and we had new Packer clothes. How cool was this? Breakfast was as delicious as always at this location and after some chit chat, it was off to the dome. The nice thing about staying at the Marriott Court Yard in Bloomington is the convenience of catching the shuttle (train) that takes you to the stadium. It was apparent from the time we got to the shuttle that this was no ordinary NFL game. There were more people in Packer garb than we had ever seen. A quick census on my part showed that in our particular car, the Packer crowd out numbered the viking group by a 2 to 1 ratio. I felt sorry for Doug and Michelle but there was nothing they could do about it. It took us approximately 30-35 minutes to get to the dome, but the ride was fun. Packed like sardines and listening to the barbs thrown by two competing sets of fans was pretty entertaining.



The most important things required by a good football fan are these: Good seats, concession stand close, bathrooms close and your team winning. We were good football fans that day thanks to the seats Doug and Michelle had for us. We sat in the corner of the end zone, high enough to see every play develop and yet close enough to be able to help officiate the game. It was great. We were able to see Brett Favre break Dan Marino's touch down pass record and saw the Pack beat the vikings 16-13. If we thought life was great the night before, this was even better. Unfortunately, the game ended and we had to go home. In the middle of a terrific downpour ( our Packer wear protected us), we boarded the shuttle and headed for our cars and the long five hour drive home. We drove home on that Sunday afternoon in a constant barrage of rain, lightning and wind and pulled in our driveway exactly five hours later. To our dismay, our nicest tree was missing a quarter of its limbs thanks to a bolt of lightning. I am now wondering if someone at a higher level is a Viking fan as well.